I wish I had Gob there to make it more interesting...

I ran a quarterly all staff meeting today.

It's as exciting and interesting as it sounds.

It was the biggest thing that happened today. <---Depressing sentence.

My staff is awesome and they had great ideas though so I do have that going for me. Thank goodness they're all so great or I'd be boned. Yay staff!

I'm not gonna write anymore about this. You wouldn't care to read it anyway.

To make up for how boring of a post this is, here's a link to a cat trying to get into boxes that are too small for it.

I admit that in the past I've been a nasty

I love the Little Mermaid.

Guilty.

Super gay? Oh yeah, but you can suck it if you have a problem with it.

Lots of gays seem to like the Little Mermaid too...what is it about this movie that unites all the homos? Well, let's break it down.

*A story about a young girl struggling with living in a place where no one understands her. (Ghey)

* Singing/Dancing undersea life. (Ghey)

* A young girl searching for a forbidden true love. (Ghey)

* Some of the best Disney songs ever written. (Ghey)

* A Disney Villain modeled after a drag queen (Ghey g-ghey ghey ghey)

Urusla is the best Disney villain ever. (Malificent is scarier than Ursula but Ursula is such a better overall villain.) She has the best villain song too. Today I youtubed "Poor Unfortunate Souls" to catch up on all the words and re-familiarize myself with the song that I as a child had memorized.

A little piece of me died to see that The Jonas Brothers have done a cover of the song but I pressed on. I now proudly know all the words to "Poor Unfortunate Souls" and have sung it basically every day since learning. If I could audition with this song I absolutely would.

While I might not be able to use it professionally...the drag race is coming up soon...

Facebook update: Your Gall Bladder Meridian has poked you.

Working in the spa industry makes you want to do weird things.

Like asking someone to stick needles in you and paying them for the privilege.

I'd always been a bit curious about acupuncture but am a bit of a needle-phobe and it was always too expensive to just "give it a go". Finally a living social deal came up for an acupuncture session at Creative Hands Massage so I decided to jump on it.

I'll focus mostly on the session as opposed to my review of the space. There are some negative reviews on Yelp which I didn't have any similar issues with but it sounds like it's something I should investigate if I'm going to return for my follow up appointment.

I arrived about 20 minutes early (as is spa courtesy, especially for a first time appointment at an unfamiliar place) and accidentally came in the back door. (Har de har har.) The space is actually in an alley way and a bit tough to find. I opened the door to the studio (which I only knew was the right door because of the recycling bin labeled "CHMassage" by the door. I interrupted the receptionist (who was very sweet) on her lunch break. She led me to the front and had me start filling out the intake form. I met the owner briefly who was apparently working on something for the website. She seemed a bit stressed out but was nice overall.

The intake form was 4 pages long or so. It asked how much water I drink, what color is my tongue, how often I poop and all sorts of other questions. I filled everything out as best I could then was escorted to my room to hang out and wait for my acupuncturist. Zinnia (sp?) showed up with her chakra stone necklace in tow and checked over my intake form and promptly told me we wouldn't be using this one.

"So what hurts?"

"Umm, well nothing really..."

"Well then what do you hope to accomplish with the session?"

"Well honestly I'm a massage therapist and have just always wanted to try this and I got a good deal on the session today so I thought why not...umm I do have tight hamstrings though."

"Alright, we can work with that."

She then asked me all the questions I'd already filled out on the form and we chatted a little bit. I showed her my squat (she also studied Alexander Technique so that's helpful) and we got to work. She decided to focus on my bladder meridian which apparently runs down the center of the back of the leg.

She asked me to take my shorts off and then just sorta hung around. I thought she was going to leave and then come back but she just stood there so I took them off right in front of her (which was a bit awkward but I'm not terribly shy) and got on the table. She started putting the needles in and everyone has asked "what does it feel like?"

Well it feels like a needle going into your leg.

It's not comfortable.

It's not relaxing like a massage.

I don't know how I expected it to be anything like that. I don't know what I expected it to be like but what you *should* expect it to be like is like a needle going into your leg.

That being said it didn't hurt TOO much but it's not comfortable.

So the needles start going in on the bladder meridian and I feel a couple of pulse-like sensations but nothing terribly crazy. A bit pinchy and pokey but overall nothing too out of the ordinary. No overhwhelming sense of relaxation or release. No super painful pokes. Just sorta run of the mill needles in the leg sensations.

Then she said "Let's try some of the Gall Bladder meridian, it's right here along your IT band"

*poke*

"Whoa....what is that?!"

This time I felt something big. The needle went in to my GB Meridian and it felt like a rush of water from my hip to my knee converging on the spot about 3/4 up my thigh. The spot pulsated for a couple of minutes and I had a pretty strong response to all the remaining GB meridian needles.

"This must be your meridian."

"What does that mean?"

"It's the meridian of creativity and vision..."

Well...sure that sounds nice but I still don't really know what it means.

After putting 10 needles in each leg she said "Now you relax for a bit" and left the room.

She left with no music playing and no time frame for when she'd return so I started trying to zen out a bit. (I also snuck a peak of my legs just to see the needles sticking out and it wasn't as terrifying as I anticipated.)

I'm a bit of an antsy person. I move around a lot. I toss and turn before I fall asleep and my mom always called me a "wallerer" (which is apparently a southern term that not everyone understands...think of someone rolling around on the floor mainly for the tactile stimulation they get from rolling around...or a cat doing lots of slow stretches just because...that's what it means to waller). This just means I can't stay still for too long unless I'm totally asleep or totally blissed out. Needles in the leg = not totally blissed out.

I tried to just chill on the table but the urge to move even just a tiny bit kept sneaking up. I had no idea how long I was going to be on the table and that uncertainly just made it worse. I kept wanting to roll over but could barely move without the needles changing position and pinching a bit. Finally after what felt like about half an hour she came back to take all the needles out. I got off the table and she had me do another squat. She said it looked better but I couldn't really tell much difference. We scheduled an appointment not with her but with another acupuncturist 6 weeks from today. I tried to tip her (whoops) and was told "This is a medical procedure, there's no tip." Hopefully I didn't piss her off...I didn't know the etiquette.

The owner told me it varies from acupuncturist to acupuncturist...some that she had would take tips and others refuse them. So now I have zero standard and run the risk of looking like a cheap bastard or a trashy douche anytime I go to a new person. Maybe I'll just ask on the phone.

For a couple of hours after my right calf was pretty sore...as if I'd just gotten a much deeper shot in the middle of the muscle belly. It went away the next day and I had a training session. Apparently I looked a lot more flexible to my trainer and my hamstrings were "pretty impressive" as far as flexibility goes. My squats were better, my caterpillars were better and my overall range of motion improved. Now was this due to acupuncture or the fact that my body is just getting better at the moves now that I've been doing them pretty consistently? Not entirely sure.

Overall reaction is I'm going to keep my 6 week appointment (as long as nothing more fun comes up) and see if it helps more with a stronger focus on the Gall Bladder meridian. The rates at the clinic are pretty cheap so it's wroth it at least to experiment. I'll update when the time comes.

The Pitter Patter of White Noise

I live in the attic of a 100 year old row house.

Temperature control is a bitch but it's the biggest room in the house. It has a horribly ugly green carpet but is such a cool space that despite it's flaws I do love living there.

One of my favorite things about the room is that my ceiling is basically the roof (see "issues with temperature control) so when it rains it sounds amazing.

I'm not really one for white noise machines but if they could mimic what is sounds like in that room I would sleep like a baby every night. While I usually have difficulty falling asleep, when it's raining and I'm in my room I am out.

With all the stressful things in my life right now, it's nice to have something so small have such a strong effect.

Dear rain, please don't rain on Sundays when I have free time to do things but do rain every night around midnight-2am. Thanks.

"It'd be cute if you weren't gay...well it's still pretty cute."

Today (8/13) was a pretty busy day at work with lots of boring work things going on and then a fairly uneventful evening so this post is a bit of a stretch for "experience" but hey they can't all be winners right?

After coming back from lunch with my work wife we ended up getting caught in a pretty torrential downpour. Work and lunch aren't even a full block away from each other but we still ended up getting soaked. She had an umbrella and I did not so we decided to make the trek under the one brella. From the outside it looked pretty adorable. What a romantic/playful thing. Sharing an umbrella and clinging to one another to stay dry while running through the rain giggling. It's so sweet my teeth hurt but sadly "work wife" is but a title and her parts just don't do it for me. (Much to my father's chagrin.)

While this time it wasn't quite the romantic romp I'd like for it to be, it's cute to practice.

And you shall be...

I had a couple of reasons to become a massage therapist.

1) It was more lucrative than teaching or theatre/music.

2) I was always pretty good at it

3) It fit into my schedule

4) It was flexible so when I do start doing theatre/music again I have some sway in my hours.

5) There's a bit of a romantic ideal to working in a spa and the idea of traveling the world as a massage therapist was really appealing.

6) I like working with people.

I think these are all pretty standard reasons for lots of people to become massage therapists. Well I got a bit of a pat on the back today which is always nice.

I have a client I have seen a handful of times and each time I have always gotten the vibe that the client was unhappy with me as a therapist. That, despite my best efforts, they left the spa less than satisfied. I don't know what gave me that impression (demeanor? tone of voice? body posture?) but I always felt a bit like they were disappointed. (You may notice I'm not giving my client a gender, mainly to protect client confidentiality...any time I write about an experience in the spa it will remain as vague as I can leave it and still tell the story.)

Well today the spa got a call from one of the trainers at the gym requesting me specifically for their client. I work fairly closely with the PT department so my name is probably at the top of most of their recommendation lists whether or not they've worked with me before because I'm one of the only therapists they would even be aware of. The trainer said their client was complaining of an issue in their neck and was about to go on a long business trip and they had to get in. My book was closed off but I said they could come in for a 30 minute session to see what we could take care of.

When I saw who the client was I thought that the trainer had probably forced me as the therapist because they knew my name and knew I had a solid reputation but the client still wasn't excited about it.

I consulted with now my client and found out the source of their pain and what the issues were with range of motion and got to work. About midway through the massage (after the client actually stopped to take a work phone call) they said:

"I'm so glad you were here and could see me. You always fix me. I've gone to other therapists and I always feel a bit better when they're done. You fix me though. You should do as many massages as you can because it will be great for your karma. Being a healer is so amazing and you're a healer."

Wow. I gotta say that's a pretty strong reinforcement that I'm doing something right. This client went from one I was certain didn't like me to one of my biggest fans. Clearly it's silly of us as therapists to impose anything on our clients or to assume anything about what they think of us unless we're told directly. I'm confident in my abilities as a massage therapist and I like to think that I do certainly help people get better but there's some sort of density to the word healer that I'm not sure if I'm ready to own just yet. I aspire to one day be comfortable with that title but in the meantime it's really nice to know that at least someone already gives it to me.

This post about ta...

It's nice sometimes when you get an unexpected burst of being happy.

This morning (9/15) I had one of those moments just driving to work. Some dancey song came on (embarrassingly enough I think it may have been Ke$ha which makes my heart die a bit to type) and I just immediately fell into a good mood.

Work is hard. My body is sore from training. I don't have a ton of free time to do the things I'd like to do. Then suddenly something gives you a burst of happy and it carries you for a bit. It's moments like this that are refreshing and more importantly reassuring for me that even though I'm not exactly where I want to be in the moment (in more ways than one) that my core is still pretty happy...even when lots of things are stressful. I'd like to think that I won't ever lose that.

Meathead Princess

I work at a super chi-chi/posh/upscale gym spa in one of the fittest cities in America.

This is not really a place I would ever have really seen myself working had you asked 2 years ago but somehow here I am.

You can't work at a place like this and not be shamed into trying to get into shape. The most perfect bodies (and judgmental eyes) come in and out the doors all day. I had just begun trying to "shape up" a bit during massage school because I felt like I couldn't market massage as a health benefit if I waddled into the room. (I also have bad lateral turn out so the descriptor of "waddle" is really not that much of a hyperbole.) After getting a job at this gym I had to kick things into higher gear. I started trading massages for personal training sessions with my trainer Lisa at the first location I worked at. I learned a ton from her and we started putting together some fitness plans/goals so I could get in shape for Ginger's wedding.

Having been a "fitness baby" I was learning a lot of things really quickly from the PT time and I started to see results. By the time Ginger's wedding rolled around I had lost quite a bit of weight and was pretty happy with the results. I did however want to put on some muscle. I've always wanted a nice chest, arms and back (who doesn't?) and I thought while working at a gym spa, surrounded by knowledgeable personal trainers is probably going to be the best time in my life to get it together.

Since Ginger's wedding my goals have changed from weight loss to muscle gain officially. (Hopefully weight loss will continue as I gain more muscle and increase my metabolism but the body only does one of those at a time really well I've been told.) Apparently the best and most effective move for total body muscle gain is a weighted squat. So of course I want to do squats.

Problem.

I have ridiculously tight hamstrings and calves from being overweight my whole life. My pelvis has tilted and elongated my quads resulting in ridiculous flexibility in that direction but tightened my hamstrings leaving me unable to even do a straight legged toe touch. Apparently, flexible hamstrings are pretty necessary to doing a squat. So while I've known for months now that squats are the way to go, I haven't been able to do one even without weight because of my hamstrings. I can't get fully into the squat position without falling over so you don't want to put a huge bar on top of me before hand.

We've constantly been working on increasing my flexibility to try and get my body able to handle a squat and today was the day to really go for it. We started doing squats on a medicine ball (trying to touch my butt to the ball without falling and without flaring my knees) first to get the form down. I could cheat and grab a stabilization bar if I needed to but slowly my form improved and I got deeper into the stretch. Then we added the bar with no weights (which is still pretty damn heavy).

This hurt. A lot. Apparently the flexibility level in my back is pretty low too because even just holding the bar felt like it was ripping my shoulders out of socket but on we press. The added weight actually helped get deeper into the squat and wasn't terribly difficult to lift. I have pretty strong legs if I might toot my own horn...not much else on my body is strong but legs seem to develop some power when they carry around a fat guy all day for 20 years.

We added weight and it started to get more challenging but I actually enjoyed it. (Who am I?) There are apparently some exercises I actually like. Squats, dumbbell rows and overhead presses being the three that immediately jump to mind. I feel like that meathead I always secretly wanted to be. Lisa, knowing my goals are 90% aesthetic, told me that once I added dead lifts to my repertoire then I'd have a routine that would make me into that meathead princess I hoped to be. Lisa has learned that I enjoy two types of exercises, ones that make me feel like a badass (see above) and ones I can pretend are dancing. She's slowly putting together the complete "Meathead Princess" routine. You can bet there will be a workout DVD coming out of this. Reserve yours today, it's gonna fly off the shelf.

Get in and don't ask questions

Tuesday August 16th (to catch up on the date this *should* have been posted.

Not too much exciting to write about. The "return day" is always a bit mundane I think when you're coming off a trip high.

The only real notable experience was riding home (at 1:30am so it counts as happening on Tuesday) in an unmarked cab.

I got off the bus and was dreading finding a cab. As I approached the gates I was relieved to see a couple of cabs waiting and a guy asked me if I needed a cab. I enthusiastically forced out a "Yes!" in my sluggish half asleep state. Rather than whisking me off to his bright yellow cab he pointed to a lady who came up and asked me "where ya goin'?" and I told her my address and she said "Yeah, I'll take ya."

Now I still think she's going to lead me to her cab but she leads me to her Corolla with a strawberry shaped air freshener hanging from the dash and motions for me to sit in the front.

"Ummm, how much is it gonna cost to take me home?"

"Where do you live again?"

"14th and Webster, northwest..."

"Ohhh ummm that's gonne be $12."

That's about what I was anticipating so rather than dealing with the hassle of finding another cab I agreed.

Now if you've ever sat in the front of a cab you might be familiar with how awkward that kinda feels. You want to just zone out and either close your eyes, look out the window or play on your phone but it's a bit weird to do it when there is another person right across the arm rest from you but at least most of the time the driver doesn't really engage with you.

This was not Kristen's way.

"How was your trip?"

"Where did you go?"

"That sounds fun! Did you like it?"

"What do you do for work?"

"Ooooh I love spas, I just went to get my nails done last week and they *longer story than worth typing*"

"Oh so this is up past the Upshur pool? That's gonna be $14."

Damn it. I knew that would happen. I briefly considered telling her to just let me out there cause unmarked cabs are so sketch (I had already passed up about 3 in NYC when I was there due to sheer skeeze factor) but I was exhausted and couldn't imagine traipsing around looking for someone else to take me home. While mentally and verbally exhausting, Kristen was at least nice and had called me "boo" a couple of times and I'm a sucker for that.

By the end of our trip I had recommended Spaworld to her for her weekend plans and I had learned of her affinity for baths over showers and how spicy foods make her gassy.

Unmarked cabs...probably best as a last resort unless you're feeling chatty...or like you don't need that extra $4.

I crossed the river but didn't die of dysentery

Day 3 in NYC's experience is walking the city. It's a great (albeit tiring) way to see the city and get a better feel for it.

After taking the subway from Astoria down to the Battery I walked around the coast line and had a brief moment of "What would my life be like if I had moved here right after college like I always imagined I would in high school?" It wasn't a sad moment just one of those million possibilities kind of reflections.

An awesome urban community garden plot on the Battery

My dear friend Ginger (who I grew up with and have followed each other basically everywhere till graduating from college) and I always sort of dreamed of moving from bumblefuck to the biggest city we could imagine and what it would be like to be artists/actors/musicians/bohemians/servers/bartenders/badasses in NYC. We visited in high school and it was the last time I saw the Statue of Liberty. I've been back to NYC since but it was foggy and she was just a dark blurry shadow every time. This time the sky was clear and I could see her. Even though I live in DC where I see impressive monuments all the time (and they still have an effect on me even two years later now and again) this time it made me stop and have a nice little moment.

Not the best view of her for sure but this is the exact moment I had my "What if" pause.

I followed my iPhone map (it's a phone too?) to the Brooklyn Bridge. I wandered past Wall Street and then found the pedestrian entrance to the bridge. It was actually a pretty nice walk. Pretty crowded but everybody was pretty easy going. It's a great view of the skyline and it finally helped solidify exactly where the hell Brooklyn is in my mental map of NYC. After picking the absolutely wrong turn (that leads down to Fulton Street, the shopping district in Brooklyn, via an extremely long and impossible to escape path down the middle of the street) I jumped on the subway and went to Central Park.

What's good for Wall Street is good for main street...right?

The bridge walk begins

Great view of the sky line

Obligatory self shot to prove I was there. See! I didn't just steal all these pictures.

Central park is a strange combo of huge empty fairly boring spaces and beautifully manicured and interesting gardens. It's so big and daunting...I've been before and thought I'd seen all of it but clearly that's not the case because I hardly even recognized anything. Wandering past the turtle pond, the Shakespeare garden and all the other areas was a great close to my trip. I had no idea where I was going but just enjoyed the process of exploring. I think if I lived in NYC I'd take my days off and just wander like this a lot (at least to start). You get more mental map (clearly this is important to me since I can't stop talking about it), you get time to reflect on what's going on and you get some pretty amazing people watching.

I'm a sucker for pathways with trees rounded over them like this. I will take a picture every damn time even though they ALL look the same. This one is pretty quality though.

A little pavilion area near the row boat docks.

I've got to do this but I wasn't about to be that lame guy rowing a boat by himself.

I dare you to look at this bench and tell me New York isn't romantic. Seriously. You sit in this bench with somebody and you're getting married. Done deal.

While I hadn't reached my fill of Central Park, I had reached my limit for walking. My feet and calves were starting to tighten to a level I couldn't ignore anymore so I decided it was time to plant somewhere. I hopped in a cab and made my way to the West Village to crash at a coffee shop on Gay street and see the landmark Stonewall Inn and the memorial.

After work my friend Will came out to meet me for dinner but not before I drug him along to "The Pleasure Palace" to purchase a new accouterment or 3. (On a completely unrelated topic there are no more photos in this article.) Will is clearly a pretty good sport.

After this round I've decided that I could definitely live in NYC and I'd probably enjoy it a lot. The fear of not having my space is mostly dissipated and I think the trade offs would be worth it, if only for a while. Now it's just a matter of when does it make sense or does it ever?