Obligatory Inauguration Post

Well here he is. President #44 Barack Hussein Obama. See him? He's right up there in the center. He's actually waving to me in this one. We sorta had a moment.

I got to go to the inauguration and I stood right in front of the Washington Monument with about 1,999,999 others watching what was taking place about a mile away.

I could see the Capitol. I could see everyone's faces (on a jumbotron) and could hear everything in a strange echo like stereo.

Most of my friends avoided downtown DC like the plague today and I fully understand why. It was freezing cold, the metro was insane, walking anywhere near the mall or the parade route was ridiculous, it was crowded, stressful, uncomfortable and exhausting but damn I'm glad I went.

I had to be a part of this. I live in DC. There are people in the country, in the world even, who would give their left nut for the opportunity to just be in the same area code as this and I couldn't let it pass by without going out myself.

I have all sorts of hopes and thoughts about the upcoming 4 (maybe 8) years and I truly do believe that Obama can bring about some fantastic and wonderful change. (Of course, not on his own but it is nice to finally have a President that motivates the people and challenges them in a way that encourages rather than frustrates.) Will tomorrow I wake up and America be filled with Rainbows and Unicorns? No. I do sometimes fear that some people put a little too much faith into the "Change we can all believe in" but I lean on the side of it's better to be a little optimistic than to feel like your actions change nothing. Will Obama make mistakes? Yes. Will conservatives jump all over these to try and prove they were right? Yes. Will liberals hail everything he does correctly as the greatest gift e're given to the world? Yes. Politics are politics and you root for your side. It's like a giant (and much more important/influential) sport played primarily by (until recently) rich old white guys. It's easy to see how "the common man" has become somewhat disinterested and burnt out on the idea of politics. If nothing else, Obama has re-invigorated the public to turn an eye towards political ideals and the health and prosperity of our country. In my opinion, if that's the only thing he accomplishes as president, he's done something quite astounding. (Note: Here's hoping that's not the one and only achievement the Obama office can claim but I needed a good point t make and there it was.)

It was inspirational to see so many people attend the inauguration. People of all different races, religions, states, sexual orientations, creeds, dogmas, beliefs, hair styles, outerwear choices, habits, traits and other descriptive categories were in attendance. Some were very emotional, others reserved but all filled with the energy, spirit and hope tied to the day. After the 8 years of Bush many Americans felt burned out and disillusioned with the idea of our democracy. Myself included. However, he was indeed an elected official. Not just elected, but RE-elected. (Say what you will about Florida and hanging chads but if we had REALLY been motivated to steer Gore into office some improper actions (purposeful or not) in the nation's penis shouldn't have been the deciding factor. If Bush did one thing he set up a political climate that really motivated the public to take action and really campaign to make their voices heard and heard loudly.) Don't get me wrong. I am certainly not a Bush supported or anything like that, far from it...but I do think that if this idea of bi-partisanship is going to take hold, the liberal side of things really has to make an effort to reach the conservative groups on their turf a little bit. They're upset and they're ready to lash back at us with all they've got. We have to show them that even in our time of triumph that we are still good people with valid points of view. Not just tree-hugging hippie fags who want to donate money to everyone in the world so that they can plant organic corn to fuel our hybrid cars so that we can drive sick animals to the animal shelter and then make a stop off at the aborto-hut to rip out someone's fetus. No no fair conservative, we're more than that. Let's all give this working together thing a shot and see where it takes us.

Well, that got political fast. Returning to the actual experience.

I woke up at 6:45. Left the house around 7:15. Met Davis around 8. Lost all cell phone reception around 8:15 for most of the day. Got to our spot at the monument around 8:25. Waited there until the whole kit and kaboodle was over a little after one. I was uncomfortable, cramped and cold but I loved the whole thing. I am so glad I forced myself to go and I know I'll be even happier ten years from now when I can point in my kid's or grandkid's history book of an aerial view of the crowd and say "I was right there".

I teared up a couple of times (I'm an emotional douche) but it was good. I felt inspired and I really do believe that we can change this downward spiral we're currently stuck in (in so many different aspects of the country). I teared up first when the chair of the Inauguration Committee first spoke. Then again when John William's piece was performed (I loved the opening but the whole "tis a gift" variation on a theme thing didn't quite blow my skirt up). Finally, of course, I teared up a couple times during Barack's speech. I'll be damned if that man can't speak and inspire. I guess that's why they pay him the big bucks now.

Warren's invocation was boring and flat. I, of course, am somewhat biased towards him but I think even if I wasn't, I wouldn't have thought much of it. The only thing I will latch onto though is how he said SAH-SHAH(!) in the GAYEST possible way. You hate homos rev. Warren? Then stop talking like us.

Overall, I was moved and very pleased with the whole event. I considered going out tonight as I don't have to go into work but after the trek back (culminating at it's peak in an hour long bottleneck trying to exit the mall) I think I may just wall myself off from other human beings for a while. (At least until tomorrow when I go back to work at a tourist destination.)

I believe I'll come to a close. I'm going to try and start writing concisely but it seems like that's something I just don't really do so don't hold your breath. Inauguration was amazing and I'm honored and amazed I got to be a part of it. Again, Yay 2009!

Global Warming My Ass!

Are you friggin' kidding me? I feel like this everytime I go out.
And yes, I know it's colder in Chicago and Boston and the South Pole but I still hate this.

Summertime in Winter

Life is strange.

I know that's kind of a trite and overused way to start an entry here but I can't think of anything more appropriate.

My life has been a series of extreme highs and lows. I seem to do very little in the middle ground. Maybe that comes with age and maturity but so far my experiences have all been either WAY on the plus or WAY on the negative. I guess I kind of prefer that currently but who knows how my tastes will develop as life progresses.

Currently I just had one of those moments where I realized my life is at quite a high right now. I like to document the highs more than the lows because it's a lot more fun to revisit them. Last night I went over to Nick and Jeremy's for dinner. They have quickly become two amazing friends in my 4 short months in DC. It's remarkable how people can go from strangers to friends in such a short time. My friends, old and new, have provided me with more happiness than anything I can think of here. To be developing my home and my network in a city I love is really a fantastic feeling and something as simple as a dinner at someone's house is really beginning to mean the world to me. I woke up this morning to my Dutch roommate Geirghard (pronounced here-hard with lots of spit in the beginning) playing Summertime on the piano, followed up by Somewhere Over the Rainbow which is currently still going on. It's beautiful. He's an organist and learning to play jazz piano here in DC so I have a feeling my next 3 months will be full of some amazing music. (Note: he just did an amazing chordal progression and I got goosebumps.) Music really has a way of controlling my emotions. From walking to the metro to laying in bed before going to sleep, music plays a large part in my daily life whether or not I always acknowledge it. The visceral sound and emotion that comes from live music is one that always pulls at me and to have an amazing pianist living in my house is going to keep me on an emotional high as long as he keeps playing. I have tickets to see "Next to Normal" at Arena with Chad tonight. I have so many great friends from Centre here in DC as well. It really feels amazing to move to an area and already have a social scene around but the mix is perfect because I'm still meeting lots of amazing new people at work, at the bars and through other friends. I truly believe that one of my greatest joys is getting to know new people and learning from their experiences and their personalities. I take so much from the people I come in contact with, I hope that they get as much out of me as I do out of them.

Correction: Life is strange and beautiful.

Spring Forward, Fall Back

Well peace out 2008 and hello to a brand spankin' new 2009.

I was torn whether I should do an 08 retrospective or a 2009 look to the future. After much debate I decided there was value to both so here we go.

2008 - A Retrospect

2008 was a rough year for sure but in the end most certainly a productive one. It's super cheesy but one of those lame phrases that you always hear proved very true for me this year. The strongest steel is forged in the hottest fire. (I don't even know if that's true or not but damn, doesn't it sound good?) I dealt with quite a bit this year. A really rough break up which lead to quite the life-shift/reevaluation, lots of moving around, losing a large chunk of my worldly possessions due to the carelessness and neglect of one I once thought was a friend, accumulating more debt than I've ever had, the first real lack of a theatre related job and of course coming out to my father.

I worked with The Kentucky Shakespeare Festival (Bard Buddies), The Missoula Children's Theatre (Jack and the Beanstalk), The Catclaw Theatre (Prep work mostly, more to come in 09), The University of Louisville (Titus Andronicus), and The International Spy Museum (Operation Spy Guide).

I lived in Louisville, KY, a little red truck that traveled the Pacific Northwest (which is beautiful), Harlan, KY, and Arlington, VA.

I learned a lot about what I want/need out of a relationship and a partner. I lost myself in my desire to be with someone and came out on the other side a much stronger person. I had never disappeared like that before and now that I know what it's like, I don't ever want to do it again. I know that for a relationship to work both people have to give of themselves freely but both must also be fair in what they ask of their partner. A relationship is about building a life together, not blindly forcing someone into your preexisting life. Priorities will shift around a lot and you have to be ready for that. After over a year of rebuilding my emotional health/strength I know that now I'm ready to find that person and really know how to be a good boyfriend.

I've become totally comfortable with the idea of being gay. I wrote a little bit about this in my old school livejournal which I did a horrible job keeping up with but it's a big step and I feel I should reflect a bit more on it. I guess 25 isn't super late to get comfortable in your own skin. I know lots of people who did it much earlier (kids are coming out in friggin' middle school these days) but I also know of a lot of sad people who are still denying that side of themselves well into their 40's, 50's, 60's. I know a lot of that denial came from the culture/society set up around them as they were younger and I'd like to think that the current culture/society is a bit more understanding and welcoming. Not to say that it's fully there yet but it's made significant strides in the past 30 odd years or so. The passage of Proposition 8 proves that we've still got a really long way to go but it was a mere 20 years ago that the supreme court ruled in Bowers v. Hardwick that homosexuals had no rights to privacy in their own homes. 20 years ago. We're making huge strides but just because the pace is picking up doesn't mean we should stop the race. This is a marathon and we've all got to work together to get to the finish line. The problem is, with such strong cultural backlash to the mere idea of being who you are when you're gay makes it difficult to motivate people who are still uncomfortable in their own skin to take any sort of real action. I wasn't much of a benefit to the GLBT community for the past 24 years of my life, hopefully now I can make up for some lost time and help motivate others as well. (More to say on this but I think I'll save that for a later entry.)

I love it here in DC. I got here in September and while I'm certainly in more debt than I've ever seen thanks to my credit card I am still so excited to be here. The city is huge but doesn't feel overwhelming, the architecture and layout is beautiful most everywhere, the political climate is electric right now and I have a great and ever expanding social network here in the area. I didn't think I'd be here much longer than a year or two but it seems to be shaping up to be a more long term stay for me if things go as planned. I know not to plan too stringently but I do like the idea of pushing pause on my nomad style of living for a bit.

So really 2008 was shaping up to be a pretty crappy year personally until the last couple of months when all of the hardships/trials/tribulations/whatever you want to over-dramatize them as, all came together and I saw the end result of it. Me being a much better person. I had become pretty complacent in lots of aspects of my life and had really lost my sense of self (something I had never had a problem with before). Realizing it was gone was a huge blow to my self-image and it took a really long time to maneuver my way back to it but now that I've really had to work to find it, I truly understand and value how important it is. Anytime you have to work for something, you appreciate it more than when it's just handed to you or has just always been there so now I'm pretty proud of myself and won't be tossing my self-worth to the side anytime soon. Now 2008 has become a super productive and life-shaping year. Transitions are always the hardest part in writing and in life.

And now for the worst transition ever.

2009 - Looking to the future

Resolution time. I've never really been one to make these, let alone stick to them but this year, with all my new found self-motivation and confidence I think it might be a good time to actually think about what I want out of 2009.

1) Continue on in this path of self growth. It's working out really well thus far, no reason to slow down.

2) Find a better job in DC. Not that the Spy Museum isn't a good gig, but it really doesn't pay quite enough for me to live as I would like and I'd really like some benefits please. I have an interview coming up working with the developmentally disabled as a Talent Director which would be amazing. I'm keeping every possible appendage crossed on this one.

3) Direct at least 2 new shows. I don't want to lose sight of my goal of one day being a college professor and I'll absolutely need to go back to get my MFA in Directing if I want to do this. I can be less nomadic but still take steps towards the goal line here in DC. I've got one show coming up with Catclaw for sure but I'd like to get at least one more in this year. I'd love to do 4 full lengths this year but that may be a bit ambitious.

4) Find a solid relationship. Like I said, I'm really ready to share this new found person with someone else. I would really like to have someone there beside me in 09 to share my successes and failures with. I don't want to have to settle for someone just to have companionship though so I know I'm in for a long process. Let's see what DC has in store for me.

5) Meet lots of new people. This one is pretty self explanatory. If I'm not going to be travelling all over the place and seeing new places, I'd like to meet new people and explore the world that way.

6) Get better at the piano. I've just recently realized how much I love playing the piano again and how cathartic it is for me. The new place I'm moving into in Columbia Heights has a piano in the living room so I have no excuse now not to play.

7) Write a book of short stories. I've got some ideas here and a couple of people to help out with this one. Hopefully I can at least get started this year. The blog is sort of my baby step in the writing direction, hopefully the two will inspire one another.

8) Get in the gym. I've slimmed down a bit since I moved to DC (mainly because of my 1.2 mile walk to and from the metro every day) but I think it's time to try and put on some muscle if I can. If I get a solid job somewhere, one of my first "frivolous" purchases will be a gym membership. Anytime I pay for something, I feel like I need to use it so hopefully that'll motivate me.

9) Learn lots of new things. I like the whole idea of being a "student of the world" and since I've been in DC I feel like I've grown a lot and learned lots of things about myself, the world, government and other people. I don't know exactly how to qualify this as a resolution but I write it just to remind myself to continue being open to new experience and to really take in and process everything that comes my way. Also, I must remain actively engaged in seeking out experiences, people and situations that will enhance my world view and force me to think, create, feel and debate.

10) (Just so the list is even) Volunteer for some GLBT organizations. Like I mentioned before, I haven't been very active in the community in the past because of my own fears and inadequacies but now that the climate is changing and we're gathering momentum and steam I think I need to become an active part of the movement in whatever way I can. That way in 30 years when I have kids I can tell them without shame or fear that I helped make America a better place for everyone, not just the GLBT community.

Hmmm...I guess that's a pretty good list. Of course there's a lot more that I hope to accomplish in 2009 but those are the ones that are jumping to mind right now. I've got a whole year to add to the list and I'm sure I will.

Now, I'm off to move into my awesome new place in Columbia Heights and get the hell out of Olga's house. (My landlord's name is Olga, she's Russian and really not pleasant to live with. I'm outta here.)

More to come...